The Nice Stenographe DMR Machine + Me = Good News

Ladies and Gentlemen- Everyone should read this information, it could save your life!
As if my family has not gone through enough in the past few years....about a month (or a little less) ago I noticed a lump on my breast. GREAT! At first I was worried, then I tried to convince myself it was nothing, then I was worried....your breasts change during your cycle , etc etc. Anyways, I knew I would not feel better about it unless I got it checked out. So I went to the doctor and she said I should call to let her know if I am pregnant or not the next week and we will schedule appointments. Well, I was NOT pregnant so she went ahead and scheduled a mammogram and an ultrasound.
I ended up getting the u/s first because of my age they thought they could rule out the mammogram by doing u/s first. They could not see anything on the screen ( so I guess it wasn't a cyst like the doc said it could be, clomid can cause cysts - I thought only on ovaries but I guess I thought wrong) BUT it could be felt (the lump) just not seen. They said they can't see fatty tissue on an u/s but they can on a mammogram. So off to the mammogram I go.. in my pants and then nice hospital gown. The lady puts a special sticker on the lump and then another on the side, I think it just said LEFT or something, I don't know, I let her do what she needed! I was very scared it was going to hurt A LOT, but it really did not. I guess I have the perfect size boobs, not too small and not too big because either of those would make the mammogram more painful-- or maybe I just have a high tolerance for pain, who knows. So, they only did the one with the lump and it was over quickly.
Then I had to sit there while she went to show the xrays to the doctor. I am sitting and sitting and sitting waiting. Thinking, oh great, its taking a long time, what if they ask if anyone came with me today and that I should go get them, please not that! I was told by a co-worker that if they come back and need to take more pictures its not necessarily a bad thing, it could've been that they just need a different angle or something, so I was prepared for that. But after waiting for what seemed like an eternity, she came back- her name was Diane (spelled wrong!) by the way, and there were 2 other Dianne's in the waiting room with me that morning, weird huh. So she came back and said the doctor didn't see anything and I could go home. I would get the report from my doctor soon.
YAY, what a load off my mind. I get dressed and go out to find Joe- he was getting a soda- I guess the waiting around was too much! Anyways, I think he might've given me a high five.. I can't remember. But then I had the rest of the day off to relax, unwind, watch tv , rest, then I went to Walmart and I even exercised! I still don't like that there is a small lump there but I can deal, I AM VERY LUCKY !
SO-------------------------------
I am getting all my information from the following website.. all credit goes to them
http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/index.html

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A lump is detected, which is usually single, firm, and most often painless.
A portion of the skin on the breast or underarm swells and has an unusual appearance.
Veins on the skin surface become more prominent on one breast.
The breast nipple becomes inverted, develops a rash, changes in skin texture, or has a discharge other than breast milk.
A depression is found in an area of the breast surface.
Women's breasts can develop some degree of lumpiness, but only a small percentage of lumps are malignant.
While a history of breast cancer in the family may lead to increased risk, most breast cancers are diagnosed in women with no family history. If you have a family history of breast cancer, this should be discussed with your doctor.


Every two minutes a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer.
This year more than 211,000 new cases of breast cancer are expected in the United States.
One woman in eight who lives to age 85 will develop breast cancer during her lifetime.
Breast cancer is the leading cause of death in women between the ages of 40 and 55.
1,600 men are expected to be diagnosed with breast cancer this year and 400 are predicted to die.
Seventy percent of all breast cancers are found through breast self-exams. Not all lumps are detectable by touch. We recommend regular mammograms and monthly breast self-exams.
Eight out of ten breast lumps are not cancerous. If you find a lump, don't panic-call your doctor for an appointment.
Mammography is a low-dose X-ray examination that can detect breast cancer up to two years before it is large enough to be felt.
When breast cancer is found early, the five-year survival rate is 96%. This is good news! Over 2 million breast cancer survivors are alive in America today.

An Early Breast Cancer Detection Plan should include:
Clinical breast examinations every three years from ages 20-39, then every year thereafter.
Monthly breast self-examinations beginning at age 20. Look for any changes in your breasts.
Baseline mammogram by the age of 40.
Mammogram every one to two years for women 40-49, depending on previous findings.
Mammogram every year for women 50 and older.
A personal calendar to record your self-exams, mammograms, and doctor appointments.
A low-fat diet, regular exercise, and no smoking or drinking.
How to do a Breast Self-Examination
IN THE SHOWER Fingers flat, move gently over every part of each breast. Use your right hand to examine left breast, left hand for right breast.
Check for any lump, hard knot or thickening. Carefully observe any changes in your breasts.
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..>BEFORE A MIRROR Inspect your breasts with arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead.
Look for any changes in contour of each breast, a swelling, a dimpling of skin or changes in the nipple. Then rest palm on hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match - few women's breasts do.

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..>LYING DOWN Place pillow under right shoulder, right arm behind your head. With fingers of left hand flat, press right breast gently in small circular motions, moving vertically or in a circular pattern covering the entire breast. Use light, medium and firm pressure. Squeeze nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.

Copyright © 1991-2007 National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.®All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy

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MYTH: Finding a lump in your breast means you have breast cancer.TRUTH: Eight out of ten lumps are benign, or not cancerous. If you discover a persistent lump in your breast or any changes in breast tissue, it is very important that you see a physician immediately. Many times fear keeps women from aggressive health care. Sometimes women stay away from medical care because they fear what they might find. Take charge of your own health by monthly self-exams, regular visits to the doctor, and regularly scheduled mammograms.The diagram to the right illustrates some common non-cancerous breast anomalies. Although these may feel like lumps to the touch, they should not be cause for concern. However, only your doctor can diagnose these conditions and suggest treatment. The bottom line is, if you detect something out of the ordinary during your monthly breast self-exam, see your doctor immediately. Early detection always is the best form of prevention.

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MYTH: Men do not get breast cancer.TRUTH: This year 211,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 43,300 will die; however, 1,600 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 400 will die. While the percentage of men who are diagnosed with breast cancer is small, men should also give themselves monthly exams and note changes to their physicians...>

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MYTH: A mammogram can cause breast cancer to spread.TRUTH: An x-ray of the breast is called a mammogram. The x-ray and the pressure on the breast from the x-ray machine cannot cause cancer to spread. Do not let tales of other people's experiences keep you from having a mammogram. Base your decision on your physician's recommendation and ask the physician any questions you may have about the mammogram.
..; Breast Cancer Myths." src="http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/images/myths/exam.jpg" width=157 border=1>..>

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MYTH: Having a family history of breast cancer means you will get breast cancer. TRUTH: While women who have a family history of breast cancer are in a higher risk group, most women who have breast cancer have no family history. If you have a mother, daughter, sister, or grandmother who had breast cancer, you should have a mammogram five years before the age of their diagnosis...>

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MYTH: Breast cancer is a communicable disease. TRUTH: You cannot catch breast cancer or transfer it to someone else's body. Breast cancer is the result of uncontrolled cell growth in your own body.
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MYTH: Knowing you have changes in the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene means you can prevent breast cancer.TRUTH: Five percent to ten percent of women who have breast cancer are thought to carry the mutant BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene. Alterations in these genes for men and women can predispose them to breast cancer. If you are a carrier of the genes, you should be monitored closely by your physician. Carriers of the genes have a lifetime risk of developing breast cancer.
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Copyright © 1991-2007 National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.®All rights reserved.Privacy Policy

Another failed month :(

I know it is coming , I can feel it.... THE WITCH. I have been having cramps off and on for two days so I just know I am not pregnant again this month. It is so disappointing month after month not being pregnant.... I know many people have it MUCH worse than me, and have been trying MUCH longer.. but they know, it is hard no matter how long.

I am also combining all my TTC months for number 2. I tried 4-5 months on my own, then took a break then tried another month and got pregnant with Leah, so let's call that 6 months. Then I go almost 6 months (24 weeks to be exact) being pregnant and lose my little girl. I have to wait a few months until I feel better, emotionally and physically, and then to get regular....technically I only waited 3 months, and now I am on 4 months of ttc again... add it all up because I still have yet to bring home a baby....19 months (including when I was pg) because now we are talking how many months I have BEEN WAITING for my baby! Thats a long time... if you dont want to count when I was pg - even though I was waiting for my baby, but not trying anymore....that is still about 13 months..... TOO LONG, I shouldnt even have to be trying right now, I should have my baby and my family would be complete. So to say I am disappointed is an understatement.

Top it off with getting AF, the witch, (which is bad enough), it is Mother's Day weekend, yes I am a mother, a mother to a living child and to an angel, but it should've been an even happier holiday this year because I would have my son AND my daughter. ALSO, this is the cycle last yr that I got pregnant with Leah. Add all these things up and put it on top of the loss and emotions, the hormones... it stinks :( Cramps don't help. They have been annoying and a tiny painful so far, last month wasn't too bad, but it was the month before or so that they KILLED! I had to lay down, put a heating pad on AND take advil, I usually do not have to do that.

Of course I am not out yet, but I am gettig myself ready. I don't want to get my hopes up and think- well maybe these are just implantation cramps and AF is not coming... that would be rare, yes it does happen. I looked back at my chart when I got pg with Conner and I had cramps, I had a temp dip AND I had spotting, so you never know. But I am preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. I really hope this blog is totally wrong and I end up being pregnant. That would be a happiness I haven't felt in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I feel happiness EVERY DAY with Conner, he is THE BEST. This is just a different happiness, a yearning to be pregnant and bring home a baby.

Conner is THREE!!!!!!!!

Conner was born, May 3, 2004

Conner!!!!! I can't believe my baby is 3 years old!!! I love him soooo much, he is the best.
More b-day updates to follow
Here I am waking up the bday boy.... I even had balloons, but clearly he takes after his dad and is not a morning person!

I kept saying "Happy Birthday Conner!" and he said his birthday was SOON, not today, SOON. So I said, Happy Birthday SOON! We had been telling him all week that his birthday was soon, coming up soon.. so I think he wasn't ready for the big day.

When he walked into daycare all the kids shouted "Happy Birthday Conner!!" and he said "NO! My birthday SOON!" And he didn't want the decorations or balloon Judy got him, I think he was a little overwhelmed. They said later on they convinced him that today WAS his bday and he had fun and ate cake and they sang to him and everything.

After his party at Judy's (daycare) and Joe and I got home from work, we had cake, pizza and presents.

He was pointing at ME when we said "Happy birthday to YOU" He said it was momma's birthday too.
We couldn't take too many pictures because he wanted to play with his new toys. He got a bunch of Spiderman stuff- ball, toothbrush, book, candy, swimmies, floats. Then we got him badminton stuff, fake food to play with, Caillou doll, bases for when we play baseball, and a 3D book of jungle animals.

His PARTY is at Chuck E. Cheese's in a couple weeks if anyone wants to come :) It won't be a full CEC party and we couldn't invite all his friends because it would put us in the poorhouse! So it is cousins and grandparents and we are just buying pizza and bringing cake. We can't have it at our house because if you have read my blog you can SEE WHY!!
HAPPY 3rd Birthday my sweet CONNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!

Conner's 3 yr check-up statistics.
Weight: 32 lbs
Height: 36 1/2 inches (WOW he's gonna be a basketball player!)
Vision : Great (so far he doesn't take after his mom or dad)
Hearing: Great
He is an all around great kid. I told him he couldn't go outside and dig today until he took a nap, so he finally layed down, a few times within 5 minutes he got up and said " I sleep!" like he was done and I said-- nooo, and he fell asleep for two hours, how much better can he get!?

Update on the addition