I was looking back at my myspace blogs to copy and update over here because it has been forever... I have a hard time keeping up with all my new groups and stuff.... I was looking for a pregnancy update blog.... but I don't have one!
I think I have just been waiting and being cautiously optimistic and just waiting to blog for when I had a lot of news and good pictures to scan! Well, the scanner isn't hooked up -- STILL, and my last u/s was at 10w4d and I couldn't take good pictures of the pictures and get them on the computer... Conner took a belly pic of me, it isn't the greatest.. so I need to get on the ball about that and scanning the pics.
Things are going well so far... hungry, tired, heartburn.... had some bleeding and spotting in the beginning but it has all stopped.... KNOCK ON WOOD... KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.
So I am excited and of course nervous at the same time for many reasons.
But thats about it for now...... I will be better about blogging soon... I have to keep up with my American Idol blogs on myspace :)
Thanks for reading!
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Update....
UPDATE
Went in for my bloodwork this morning and found out right before Conner and I went to a birthday party. My numbers dropped. I am having a miscarriage :( I am sad but not surprised, I was expecting it. I also said I didn't want to have an unhealthy pregnancy. I did let myself get excited for a few moments, thinking- Oh my., I actually might be pregnant! But it is not going to work out. Ok- I cried and probably will cry a little more, but what really got me was when the nurse told me I had to take this month off from trying- with my injections and everything. :( I have been waiting since I was pregnant with Leah for my baby- and now 7 months of fertility treatments and I have to wait another one to get started again. (And if one more person says-- well, you're young, you have time-- I really will want to punch them, yell at them and run away!)
I was not expecting that. Many people start trying again that same cycle, but I can't, not with the meds. My hormones and levels are all a mess right now so they can't start me on my injections. I have to wait a whole month and call them back when my period comes again. :( I have to keep going in for bloodwork until my HCG levels are back down to 0 .
I was not expecting to have to take a month off!!! This upsets me. I am sure it is for the best, my body needs to be regulated and what not and I can always try on my own, but I don't want anything bad to happen. So I probably won't. Maybe I will exercise a little more on my month off (well, maybe I will exercise- I havent since July!) and then I will be able to organize and straighten out the house and get everything set up in the addition- all that cleaning and heavy lifting would not have been good if I was pregnant. And I can also get my Leah tattoo- can't get that if you are pregnant. So I will do these things and hopefully my next cycle will be here before we know it. If it doesn't come within 30 days I can call the doctors and they will help me out.
Now I am on a 30 day break...... geeez, I thought 2 weeks - went by slow--- now I have to wait 30 days!!!!!! :(
Went in for my bloodwork this morning and found out right before Conner and I went to a birthday party. My numbers dropped. I am having a miscarriage :( I am sad but not surprised, I was expecting it. I also said I didn't want to have an unhealthy pregnancy. I did let myself get excited for a few moments, thinking- Oh my., I actually might be pregnant! But it is not going to work out. Ok- I cried and probably will cry a little more, but what really got me was when the nurse told me I had to take this month off from trying- with my injections and everything. :( I have been waiting since I was pregnant with Leah for my baby- and now 7 months of fertility treatments and I have to wait another one to get started again. (And if one more person says-- well, you're young, you have time-- I really will want to punch them, yell at them and run away!)
I was not expecting that. Many people start trying again that same cycle, but I can't, not with the meds. My hormones and levels are all a mess right now so they can't start me on my injections. I have to wait a whole month and call them back when my period comes again. :( I have to keep going in for bloodwork until my HCG levels are back down to 0 .
I was not expecting to have to take a month off!!! This upsets me. I am sure it is for the best, my body needs to be regulated and what not and I can always try on my own, but I don't want anything bad to happen. So I probably won't. Maybe I will exercise a little more on my month off (well, maybe I will exercise- I havent since July!) and then I will be able to organize and straighten out the house and get everything set up in the addition- all that cleaning and heavy lifting would not have been good if I was pregnant. And I can also get my Leah tattoo- can't get that if you are pregnant. So I will do these things and hopefully my next cycle will be here before we know it. If it doesn't come within 30 days I can call the doctors and they will help me out.
Now I am on a 30 day break...... geeez, I thought 2 weeks - went by slow--- now I have to wait 30 days!!!!!! :(
Friday, October 19, 2007
Why?
I was thinking this month was a total bust. I had been off and on with my positive/negative thinking but once I saw a negative pregnancy test and had cramps and spotting- i figured, its over. I resigned myself to that fact- after a little crying, and I was ready to move on to the next cycle- we would do it!
So waiting and waiting for AF to show (thats a period for those who dont know the lingo). I am wondering if she won't show because I am on progesterone (to help if there is a pregnancy). So I call so that I can move up the day I go in for my bloodtest so I can stop the progesterone and get on with it already- why waste time?
I get to go in on 13dpiui (days post IUI (intra-uterine-insemination) ). I get the call at 5pm. "Are you still spotting? Because your test was not negative but your numbers are low, your HCG is 14.7." The nurse said we have to watch it closely and see what happens, it could be an ectopic (egg implanted in the tube), or who knows, we just don't know this early. It's more "wait and see" I don't want to wait and see!
My number should be higher- if it were a great healthy pregnancy- or even more than one baby-- I had 4 eggs release- the number should be higher- I was even hoping for more than one baby- one healthy one of course, but two healthy even better. Now it looks like I get one, but it might not be healthy :(
Of course we could be jumping to conclusions, you are supposed to see what your numbers do- they are supposed to double every 2 days or so. So I go back in Saturday morning and find out more information Saturday afternoon.
- I want to be pregnant-- if it's healthy and going to last
- I want to be happy about being pregnant- I barely got to enjoy any of my pregnancy with Leah
-I don't want there to be something wrong
- I don't want to be pregnant for a few weeks only to lose it
- I don't want to be scared something is going to happen- something other than the normal things I would already be worrying about
- Bleeding and cramps and low numbers worry me that it is not a healthy one :(
-I would rather start over with another cycle and have it be a good sticky healthy one
Does this make sense? Do I sound ungrateful? because I am not, I am worried and I just want it to be NORMAL.... and all I can do is wait and worry, and of course it is all out of my control.
geeez
So waiting and waiting for AF to show (thats a period for those who dont know the lingo). I am wondering if she won't show because I am on progesterone (to help if there is a pregnancy). So I call so that I can move up the day I go in for my bloodtest so I can stop the progesterone and get on with it already- why waste time?
I get to go in on 13dpiui (days post IUI (intra-uterine-insemination) ). I get the call at 5pm. "Are you still spotting? Because your test was not negative but your numbers are low, your HCG is 14.7." The nurse said we have to watch it closely and see what happens, it could be an ectopic (egg implanted in the tube), or who knows, we just don't know this early. It's more "wait and see" I don't want to wait and see!
My number should be higher- if it were a great healthy pregnancy- or even more than one baby-- I had 4 eggs release- the number should be higher- I was even hoping for more than one baby- one healthy one of course, but two healthy even better. Now it looks like I get one, but it might not be healthy :(
Of course we could be jumping to conclusions, you are supposed to see what your numbers do- they are supposed to double every 2 days or so. So I go back in Saturday morning and find out more information Saturday afternoon.
- I want to be pregnant-- if it's healthy and going to last
- I want to be happy about being pregnant- I barely got to enjoy any of my pregnancy with Leah
-I don't want there to be something wrong
- I don't want to be pregnant for a few weeks only to lose it
- I don't want to be scared something is going to happen- something other than the normal things I would already be worrying about
- Bleeding and cramps and low numbers worry me that it is not a healthy one :(
-I would rather start over with another cycle and have it be a good sticky healthy one
Does this make sense? Do I sound ungrateful? because I am not, I am worried and I just want it to be NORMAL.... and all I can do is wait and worry, and of course it is all out of my control.
geeez
Monday, August 13, 2007
You had me fooled.....
Well, I was certainly starting to be fooled with this cycle. I tried not to think about whether I was pregnant or not in my two weeks waiting (for those of you who don't know, when you are TTC - trying to conceive... they give you a 2 week window after you ovulate before you usually find out if you are pregnant or not - give or take a few days... some ladies go 14 days after they ovulate, I tend to go anywhere from 11-14 days)
Anyways- I was on vacation so I was trying not to think about it much.. and I wasn't temping (taking my temperature). I had a few cases of heartburn- probably the spicey stuff I was eating, a couple times I felt nauseaus but that could've been the food and the heat... so who knows. Yesterday and today my cramps have been almost non-existant. I figured, ok today I am 11dpo, I think I'll take my temp if I wake up on my own at the right time....98.5... hmm, thats a good one. I did not take a test first thing in the morning.. I figured I would wait and see if the cramps would set in....not too much...
Now I am thinking- ok, if I am pregnant this cycle, that means no HSG next month (checking of my tubes) and no cycle of injectable meds... thats good! I decided to take a test mid-day... I get a little case of the butterflies in my stomach- mostly because of excitement but I am thinking- odds are that I am not pregnant...... and
I am not. So, I am a teeny sad but I am for the most part ok with it because I know things are going to get done in the next month and a half. It might be neat (although time consuming and hard to schedule in because it will be the beginning of school... but oh well!) to see the ultrasounds of my ovaries growing follicles that will become eggs that will hopefully become my baby or babies! We shall see. Of course I will keep you posted.
Anyways- I was on vacation so I was trying not to think about it much.. and I wasn't temping (taking my temperature). I had a few cases of heartburn- probably the spicey stuff I was eating, a couple times I felt nauseaus but that could've been the food and the heat... so who knows. Yesterday and today my cramps have been almost non-existant. I figured, ok today I am 11dpo, I think I'll take my temp if I wake up on my own at the right time....98.5... hmm, thats a good one. I did not take a test first thing in the morning.. I figured I would wait and see if the cramps would set in....not too much...
Now I am thinking- ok, if I am pregnant this cycle, that means no HSG next month (checking of my tubes) and no cycle of injectable meds... thats good! I decided to take a test mid-day... I get a little case of the butterflies in my stomach- mostly because of excitement but I am thinking- odds are that I am not pregnant...... and
I am not. So, I am a teeny sad but I am for the most part ok with it because I know things are going to get done in the next month and a half. It might be neat (although time consuming and hard to schedule in because it will be the beginning of school... but oh well!) to see the ultrasounds of my ovaries growing follicles that will become eggs that will hopefully become my baby or babies! We shall see. Of course I will keep you posted.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Another failed month :(
I know it is coming , I can feel it.... THE WITCH. I have been having cramps off and on for two days so I just know I am not pregnant again this month. It is so disappointing month after month not being pregnant.... I know many people have it MUCH worse than me, and have been trying MUCH longer.. but they know, it is hard no matter how long.
I am also combining all my TTC months for number 2. I tried 4-5 months on my own, then took a break then tried another month and got pregnant with Leah, so let's call that 6 months. Then I go almost 6 months (24 weeks to be exact) being pregnant and lose my little girl. I have to wait a few months until I feel better, emotionally and physically, and then to get regular....technically I only waited 3 months, and now I am on 4 months of ttc again... add it all up because I still have yet to bring home a baby....19 months (including when I was pg) because now we are talking how many months I have BEEN WAITING for my baby! Thats a long time... if you dont want to count when I was pg - even though I was waiting for my baby, but not trying anymore....that is still about 13 months..... TOO LONG, I shouldnt even have to be trying right now, I should have my baby and my family would be complete. So to say I am disappointed is an understatement.
Top it off with getting AF, the witch, (which is bad enough), it is Mother's Day weekend, yes I am a mother, a mother to a living child and to an angel, but it should've been an even happier holiday this year because I would have my son AND my daughter. ALSO, this is the cycle last yr that I got pregnant with Leah. Add all these things up and put it on top of the loss and emotions, the hormones... it stinks :( Cramps don't help. They have been annoying and a tiny painful so far, last month wasn't too bad, but it was the month before or so that they KILLED! I had to lay down, put a heating pad on AND take advil, I usually do not have to do that.
Of course I am not out yet, but I am gettig myself ready. I don't want to get my hopes up and think- well maybe these are just implantation cramps and AF is not coming... that would be rare, yes it does happen. I looked back at my chart when I got pg with Conner and I had cramps, I had a temp dip AND I had spotting, so you never know. But I am preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. I really hope this blog is totally wrong and I end up being pregnant. That would be a happiness I haven't felt in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I feel happiness EVERY DAY with Conner, he is THE BEST. This is just a different happiness, a yearning to be pregnant and bring home a baby.
I am also combining all my TTC months for number 2. I tried 4-5 months on my own, then took a break then tried another month and got pregnant with Leah, so let's call that 6 months. Then I go almost 6 months (24 weeks to be exact) being pregnant and lose my little girl. I have to wait a few months until I feel better, emotionally and physically, and then to get regular....technically I only waited 3 months, and now I am on 4 months of ttc again... add it all up because I still have yet to bring home a baby....19 months (including when I was pg) because now we are talking how many months I have BEEN WAITING for my baby! Thats a long time... if you dont want to count when I was pg - even though I was waiting for my baby, but not trying anymore....that is still about 13 months..... TOO LONG, I shouldnt even have to be trying right now, I should have my baby and my family would be complete. So to say I am disappointed is an understatement.
Top it off with getting AF, the witch, (which is bad enough), it is Mother's Day weekend, yes I am a mother, a mother to a living child and to an angel, but it should've been an even happier holiday this year because I would have my son AND my daughter. ALSO, this is the cycle last yr that I got pregnant with Leah. Add all these things up and put it on top of the loss and emotions, the hormones... it stinks :( Cramps don't help. They have been annoying and a tiny painful so far, last month wasn't too bad, but it was the month before or so that they KILLED! I had to lay down, put a heating pad on AND take advil, I usually do not have to do that.
Of course I am not out yet, but I am gettig myself ready. I don't want to get my hopes up and think- well maybe these are just implantation cramps and AF is not coming... that would be rare, yes it does happen. I looked back at my chart when I got pg with Conner and I had cramps, I had a temp dip AND I had spotting, so you never know. But I am preparing for the worst but hoping for the best. I really hope this blog is totally wrong and I end up being pregnant. That would be a happiness I haven't felt in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I feel happiness EVERY DAY with Conner, he is THE BEST. This is just a different happiness, a yearning to be pregnant and bring home a baby.
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